Browsing All Posts filed under »Sexuality/Lifestyle«

Man As Fruit

June 8, 2010


Anthropomorphic fruits, from their use in advertising to promote good nutrition to their use in fiction to promote good nutrition and Jesus(A), and The California Raisins, apparently had an impact on me. Regrettably as readers will imagine it wasn’t the impact that I was designed to absorb because my fruit and vegetable intake is sub-par. […]

Suburban Exhibitionists (In The Age of Paranoia)

May 31, 2010


8:30 A.M. Used to be, it was said, a time in which we’d collectively be up and about and drenched in sweat long before that. You’d wake up at four or five in the morning as the cock crows to harvest your day’s meals and your penniless existence. That’s not the case though this 8:30 […]

“Help! My Girlfriend Is A Sex Addict!” & Other Trials & Tribulations of 2010 (Part III of III)

February 7, 2010


(Continued From Pt. 2) Two Weeks After Our Last Update… (We are in Zag’s car, discreetly hidden within a dead-end suburban niche, behind a fog of marijuana smoke and the shadow of his tinted windows) “Cops and bums; two things this city has plenty of now,” Zig says to Zag. Zag agrees, as do I. […]

“Help! My Girlfriend Is A Sex Addict!” & Other Trials & Tribulations of 2010 (Part II of III)

January 24, 2010


(Continued From Pt. I) A Re-Cap From Last Week’s Episode: Neil is called by Marcus who wants him to want Selena who wants everyone apparently. Neil is cautious and ultimately declines. Little does he know the convolutions and compromises that await him… But First: Those “Other Trials & Tribulations” which were mentioned. Not wanting to […]

“Help! My Girlfriend Is A Sex Addict!” & Other Trials & Tribulations of 2010 (Part I of III)

January 16, 2010


“Help! My girlfriend is a sex addict!” Presented above these words is a verbatim clone of a text message I get on the morning of January The First. It’s what wakes me up, the first written words I have the luxury of absorbing from this new and optimistic calendar farce. Recently my buddy, we’ll call […]

Unexpected Love’s Unsurprising Expectations: A Work of Condensed Flash Fiction

December 21, 2009


As much as I would like to consider myself "original" or "unique," if either were really a feasibility, I find as though I would have realized the futility in trying write "the world's shortest piece of fiction." Two words isn't much, but I'm certain many others have just kept it at one word (or less somehow; they always find a way) and simply injected new meaning into that one malleable utterance. As such I shall now muster an attempt to one-up that even further. Behold the world's shortest piece of fiction EVER. I call it "Conundrum": - Scufflefuck. That's a minus sign. Last time I checked numbers went into negative integers, and if we are to measure words as but a sum of linear characters in succession then we might as well take advantage of the opportunity to invert hypothetical alphabetical x and y axises and jump from the something and into the nothing. xoxo